The Last Three Movies You've Watched

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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22326 Post by F.N.G. » 14 Feb 2012, 05:06

Rollerball (2002) - :0.5star: - Imagine xXx directed by a retard. Now imagine worse. That'd still be better than this piece of shit. I don't want to waste too much of my time explaining why it's so bad, but here are just a few reasons: Chris Klein as an action star? I swear at one point he has "stubble" that is just grease smeared on. There is one entire chase scene bizarrely shot totally in night-vision, making it practically impossible to understand what's going on. Redeeming feature: Rebecca Romijn's tits. And that's it.

Probably still better than Tree of Life though.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22327 Post by Humphrey » 14 Feb 2012, 06:44

A² wrote:
Humphrey wrote:
A² wrote:
Humphrey wrote:
A² wrote:The Tree of Life (2011) - :0star: Fuck you, Terrance Malick. You haven't made a movie that didn't bored me to death in almost 30 years.
SF and I have been warning FW and whoever would listen for ages about how shit this film is, yet you lot insist on watching it. You only have yourselves to blame!
Sometimes when you go off about how bad a movie is it makes me want to see it even more.
Humphrey wrote:
Batman wrote:
Humphrey wrote:Tree of Life :1star: Appalling. Self-indulgent, pretentious pile of turd. Self-aggrandizing piece of shit. Pitt, Chastain and Penn are all trying so hard to ACT that it is embarrassing. Malick tries so hard to make a Fellini film that it is worse than embarrassing. Not a smidgeon of humour or invention, just pretentious, superficial shit that drowns out the odd affecting moment and well-observed interaction. The bit with the dinosaur in the river is the low point, although I was keening in pain during the final minutes of the film, too.
How long was the version you saw?
138 internimable minutes. I knew I was fucked, when, convinced that we must be at least halfway through, I glanced at my watch, and saw just 30 minutes gone.
I'm not sure what in the above exchange could possibly make anyone want to watch Tree of Life.
In the Tree of Life case I think I was drawn in more by the slew of critics who were falling all over themselves to jack off all over this film.

You enjoyed it a whole star more than I did.
We discussed the critical masturbatory adulation of Tree of Life recently on here, and then my remarks attracted some general agreement from those who had seen the film by that point. You should have taken heed.
Re.: my rating the film a whole star higher than you, all I can say is 'Touché'. (Although, for some time I have deliberately not given less than :1star:, or more than :5stars:.)
F.N.G. wrote:Rollerball (2002) - :0.5star: - Imagine xXx directed by a retard. Now imagine worse. That'd still be better than this piece of shit. I don't want to waste too much of my time explaining why it's so bad, but here are just a few reasons: Chris Klein as an action star? I swear at one point he has "stubble" that is just grease smeared on. There is one entire chase scene bizarrely shot totally in night-vision, making it practically impossible to understand what's going on. Redeeming feature: Rebecca Romijn's tits. And that's it.

Probably still better than Tree of Life though.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22328 Post by Scruluce » 15 Feb 2012, 01:34

Get Him to the Greek :1star: what a piece of shit. The only time I laughed was at the final song of the film. In the context of the film, I thought it humorous. I'm not sure it would keep its appeal on my iPod though, andive some strange songs on my playlists.

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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22329 Post by » 15 Feb 2012, 04:25

Scruluce wrote:Get Him to the Greek :1star: what a piece of shit. The only time I laughed was at the final song of the film. In the context of the film, I thought it humorous. I'm not sure it would keep its appeal on my iPod though, andive some strange songs on my playlists.
I have a couple of Infant Sorrow songs on my Ipod.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22330 Post by » 15 Feb 2012, 04:38

A Clockwork Orange (1971) - :4stars: I think I'm getting soft in my old age. This disturbed me more than I remembered. I think my favorite thing about this movie is that they invented all the slang the droogs used because they were afraid that if they used any real slang it would already be obsolete by the time the movie came out.

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired (2008) - :2stars: I found this documentary on the trial of Polanski to be pretty even handed. By the end, I found him to be less loathsome than I had previously.

In retrospect, a film about a man accused of giving alcohol, drugs and then his penis to a 13-year old girl might not have been the best movie to start my Valentine's Day with.

The Lady Eve (1941) - :1.5stars: In an effort to find something more romantic, I watched a 1940s "romantic" "comedy" about a loathsome con artist who repeatedly makes an imbecile fall in love with her.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22331 Post by » 15 Feb 2012, 04:48

Vertigo (1958) - :4stars: Obviously this is a pretty great movie. It always bothers me how easily they fall in love, though.

Drive (2011) - :4stars: Finally an Oscar-buzz movie lives up to the hype. I particularly liked the brief flashes of violence. The driving scenes were great fun but too short and too few.

Take Shelter (2011) - :3stars: I really enjoyed the performances here, especially Shannon. I found the story to be a little tedious, but not enough to make me hate the film. It must be quite terrifying and frustrating to go through what the lead character experiences.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22332 Post by F.N.G. » 15 Feb 2012, 05:05

A² wrote:A Clockwork Orange (1971) - :4stars: I think I'm getting soft in my old age. This disturbed me more than I remembered. I think my favorite thing about this movie is that they invented all the slang the droogs used because they were afraid that if they used any real slang it would already be obsolete by the time the movie came out.
For "they", read Anthony Burgess. And the reason the slang is different is because the book implies the cold war finished with Russia "winning" and therefore Russian became integrated into English through cultural imperialism. Read the book, it's all written in Nadsat.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22333 Post by F.N.G. » 15 Feb 2012, 05:08

F.N.G. wrote:
A² wrote:A Clockwork Orange (1971) - :4stars: I think I'm getting soft in my old age. This disturbed me more than I remembered. I think my favorite thing about this movie is that they invented all the slang the droogs used because they were afraid that if they used any real slang it would already be obsolete by the time the movie came out.
For "they", read Anthony Burgess. And the reason the slang is different is because the book implies the cold war finished with Russia "winning" and therefore Russian became integrated into English through cultural imperialism. Read the book, it's all written in Nadsat.
Ignore. You were right in why he wrote it (according to wiki). I still seem to remember some mention of the cold war influence when studying it, or my teacher could have just been bullshitting.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22334 Post by Humphrey » 16 Feb 2012, 12:24

Carnage :3stars: Extremely excruciating, like an episode of Peep Show cranked up to 11. The acting is, surprisingly, a little clunky at times, and the script could have used a little more work, but very good, nonetheless.

Coriolanus :4.5stars: The story of a man of indomitable pride and an uncontrollable temper. Fiennes is magnificent. His face twists into a puce Voldemort-mask without help of any make-up as he curses the people he had protected who will not accept him as leader unless he bows to them first. Vanessa Redgrave, Brian Cox and Gerard Butler, even Jessica Chastain, are very good. James Nesbitt's presence is off-putting and a sadly sour note in an otherwise powerful and engaging film.

Blades of Glory :4stars: Surprisingly entertaining, even if almost intolerably silly.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy :5stars: Still perfect, still an unnecessary remake of a perfect original.

Friends with Benefit :1.5stars: Thinks itself so refreshingly unusual, but it is nothing of the sort. It is still the story of two beautiful people, inexplicably single, who meet under amusing circumstances, have a perfect relationship, which comes unstuck on some excuse of a slight or insult, and then gets re-stuck through an act of public contrition. The parallel narrative of Alzheimer's as a condition to be embraced in a close relative and one that it is possible to live with if only you enter into the spirit of it all, is positively offensive.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22335 Post by Batman » 17 Feb 2012, 08:28

The Lost Weekend (1945) - :2stars:. This film doesn't really make me believe that they knew much about alcoholism in the 40s. I found all the performances unconvincing. I'm unsure why this managed to win Best Picture. 1945 must have been a slow year for cinema.

The Killers (1946) - :2.5stars:. While I enjoy Burt Lancaster on the screen, I found the rest of this film plodding and dull. I never felt a "mood", tension or intrigue.

Coriolanus (2011) - :2.5stars:. This is a Shakespeare that didn't translate at all well to a modern setting. The peculiar requirement of the general cum politician seeking out public approval and the scheming activities of the "senators" seemed so out of place that it was distracting. I enjoyed Gerard Butler and Ralph Fiennes did a great job, but because of the anachronistic setting I didn't enjoy it as much as if it had just been set in Roman times.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22336 Post by Batman » 17 Feb 2012, 08:29

Jack and Jill (2011) - :1.5stars:. I think Adam Sandler has set out to star in all of the fake movies his character created in Funny People. I would not be surprised if he stars as a baby or a merman in his next film. Who knows? Maybe he's trying to get people to take his buddy Rob Schneider more seriously.

The Grey (2012) - :2.5stars:. I don't know much about wolves, but I don't believe the writers of this film did either. By the way - never ever ever leave the scene of a plane crash unless you're the one who caused it.

Man on a Ledge (2012) - :2stars:. I don't know much about breaking out of prison and committing a convoluted robbery in order to prove your innocence, but I don't believe the writers of this film did either.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22337 Post by Bill » 18 Feb 2012, 15:42

Ghostrider 2: Electric Boogaloo- :1.5stars: 28 hours of no sleep + boneless buffalo chicken + Ghostrider 2 in 3D and ShakyCam Vision= Stomach Hell. Almost as bad as the time I had Italian before District 9.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22338 Post by » 20 Feb 2012, 04:33

Panic Room (2002) - :4stars: Foster is solid and Fincher's style works well in building the tension and stakes. I was watching for Kristen Stewart to do her go to acting move with her hair but evidently she hadn't developed it, yet,

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) - :1.5stars: I took my 6 year old to see this. The only positives I can cite from this experience was him getting to see Star Wars on the big screen and he was finally able to see the end of the film (he typically falls asleep after an hour or so.)

I know that this is perhaps the most derided film of all time. Prior to this viewing I had always been a bit of an apologist. I know Jar Jar is a cinematic abortion, Jake Lloyd is barely better than Jar Jar and the podracing scene is overly long. Despite all the flaws I found things to like. This time even the coolness of Darth Maul couldn't save the movie for me. This time I just got hung up on how poorly the effects have aged, the ridiculousness of the plot and how wooden the action feels. Its like it took the 3D glasses for me to truly see this movie for what it is.

The 3D is a completely worthless addition, btw.

Monsters vs Aliens (2009) - :3stars: This is a fun action romp. The characters are interesting and amusing and I enjoy the voice acting.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22339 Post by You Know, for Kids » 20 Feb 2012, 08:40

A² wrote:Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) - :1.5stars: I took my 6 year old to see this. The only positives I can cite from this experience was him getting to see Star Wars on the big screen and he was finally able to see the end of the film (he typically falls asleep after an hour or so.)

I know that this is perhaps the most derided film of all time. Prior to this viewing I had always been a bit of an apologist. I know Jar Jar is a cinematic abortion, Jake Lloyd is barely better than Jar Jar and the podracing scene is overly long. Despite all the flaws I found things to like. This time even the coolness of Darth Maul couldn't save the movie for me. This time I just got hung up on how poorly the effects have aged, the ridiculousness of the plot and how wooden the action feels. Its like it took the 3D glasses for me to truly see this movie for what it is.

The 3D is a completely worthless addition, btw.
I endured this with my son last weekend as well, and made the mistake of allowing him to bring his friend. His friend is like a ball of lightning - all kinds of energy with no general direction. In any case, the 3D was exactly the afterthought one would think. It worked well enough where they had CGI'd the crap out of scenes, but for most of the movie, they pretty much just blurred the background or foreground a bit.

We went to one of the AMC theaters hosting a full event, though, and I will say that they did a very nice job of it, at least at the Empire 25 in Manhattan (how could we not go to a theater called "Empire" for Star Wars?). There was a ton of things for the kids to do both before and after, and we got the uber-cool podracer 3D glasses and some other handouts.

I would say I enjoyed the movie more this go-round, but primarily because I got to see it through my sons' eyes a bit with his first SW experience in a theater - though he's seen each movie about 20 times now.

I wish they would have gone in release order, because I am far more intrigued by the thought of seeing A New Hope and TESB in 3D than any of the others. The fact that I'll need to wait 4 years and hope that Lucas rakes in enough money for it to be worth the cost of remastering these movies in 3D for him to actually move forward with the rest of them is irritating.

Oh, and I still cringe when I hear Shmi talk about how there is no father, and every time I hear the term "midichlorians" - it's approaching a Highlander 2 level in terms of ruining my enjoyment of the other films.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22340 Post by knarf » 20 Feb 2012, 09:35

Figure I'll have to do this with my youngest too. Seems like it was just yesterday I suffered through it with my oldest.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22341 Post by Steel Frog » 20 Feb 2012, 09:41

My child has no interest in Star Wars in any form. Lucky and not, I guess. I snuck in between films last week, saw five minutes of Jar Jar and said, "yup, film still sucks" and walked out.

For all you parents forced to see it again, I suggest bringing along a rifftrax audio.

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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22342 Post by » 21 Feb 2012, 17:25

Slumber Party Massacre (1982) - :3stars: I watched this as a sort of therapy. Last weekend my step-daughter had 7 friends over for a dance party/slumber party. Those girls were crazy and the majority of them did not go to sleep for the duration of the night. Around 4AM I got up for a drink of water and found they had separated into rival factions and opened competing make-believe cafes, one in my living room the other in my kitchen. Their parents were to pick them up between 10-11 and we still had to of them at noon.

Now, on to the movie: None of the kills are very inventive but the nudity is frequent and gratuitous. Despite his decent body count, the killer isn't all that menacing. His motives are never made clear beyond the local news reporting that an "insane murderer is on the loose." Perhaps the most interesting thing about Massacre is that although it has the feel of a typical misogynistic slasher it was written and directed by a woman.

Funny= not really but at least the neighbors provide small bits of mirth.
Scary= moderate suspense
Bloody= yes
Boobs= generous

The Corpse Bride (2005) - :2stars: I enjoyed this more than the last time I saw it, but that's not saying much. The love story part is really kind of cute, as are some o the characters. I don't care for the songs and I've never been a fan of this style of animation.

Big Fish (2009) - :5stars: Seeing Corpse Bride put me in the mood to see Tim Burton's (IMO) masterpiece, Big Fish. I love everything about this movie. The story is so imaginative and the characters are all fresh and inventive. I really like this cast and their performances are solid. This is such a great looking movie, too.

I always get choked up at the end. It makes me want to spend more time with my father. In fact, after seeing this I made a lunch date with him later this week. Movies like this remind me of why I love movies. I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22343 Post by Philip » 22 Feb 2012, 00:14

A² wrote:I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
Sounds like Terror at Blood Fart Lake has its work cut out.

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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22344 Post by Batman » 22 Feb 2012, 01:01

Philip wrote:
A² wrote:I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
Sounds like Terror at Blood Fart Lake has its work cut out.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22345 Post by Humphrey » 22 Feb 2012, 02:03

Batman wrote:
Philip wrote:
A² wrote:I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
Sounds like Terror at Blood Fart Lake has its work cut out.
:lol:
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22346 Post by » 22 Feb 2012, 04:41

Sucker Punch (2011) - :4stars: I know the cool people don't like this movie but for me, I liked it as much on my second as I did on my first. The action is fresh, fun and imaginative. The costumes are interesting and sexy. I won't pretend to really understand what's going on or why Don Draper was cast as the lobotomizing Dr with 4 lines but in the end it doesn't really matter that much to me. Scott Glen is really the only part of the film I dislike. I don't care for his cliched lines he spits out.

Water For Elephants (2011) - :2.5stars: I appreciated the look of this movie. I find the depression-era US is an interesting part of our history. I found the romance and drama to be underwhelming. I don't think it needs to be spoiler-texted that it is pretty obvious from the outset that the romance part turns out exactly as you'd expect.
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The Office (US) Seasons 1-7 (2005) - :4stars: Over the last 2-3 months I have rewatched this entire series. It starts off very shaky but really finds its footing by the mid-point of that first season. Sometimes I'm off-put by how broad some of the characters and their actions are, but for the most part is it solid. There were so many romances over the years, some much better than others. I like the flagship romance of Jim and Pam the best and most of Steve Carrell's the least. It has really gone downhill in the last year or two but the fact that it stayed so watchable for so long after being based on a series that only ran 14 episodes is pretty remarkable.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22347 Post by dante » 22 Feb 2012, 12:30

A² wrote: I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
:green: on Big Fish

Have you seen Cinema Paradiso ?

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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22348 Post by » 22 Feb 2012, 13:27

dante wrote:
A² wrote: I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
:green: on Big Fish

Have you seen Cinema Paradiso ?
I haven't. You think I need to check it out?
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22349 Post by bratzks » 22 Feb 2012, 13:47

A² wrote:
dante wrote:
A² wrote: I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
:green: on Big Fish

Have you seen Cinema Paradiso ?
I haven't. You think I need to check it out?
Not really. There are a lot of people that hold it in high regard though. I wasn't that impressed.
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Re: The Last Three Movies You've Watched

#22350 Post by Batman » 22 Feb 2012, 14:26

bratzks wrote:
A² wrote:
dante wrote:
A² wrote: I keep watching and watching and watching just hoping to find another special film that grips me like Big Fish.
:green: on Big Fish

Have you seen Cinema Paradiso ?
I haven't. You think I need to check it out?
Not really. There are a lot of people that hold it in high regard though. I wasn't that impressed.
I really enjoyed it.
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