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 Post subject: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 20 Aug 2016, 19:13 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Preface:

I (usually) work in a technical support capacity, currently for a business telephone and internet service provider.
Through the course of my day, I come across emails (to customers) and trouble tickets (w/ notes that may or may not be visible to customers). Predominantly, these notes are are clear, concise, and make sense. Those notes and/or emails will not be found in this thread.

This thread is dedicated to those notes that defy comprehension, bewilder the reader, and generally leave me (and my other coworkers) wondering how the individual made it through the hiring process.

Enjoy!


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 20 Aug 2016, 19:27 
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TV's Kryptonite
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For the initial entry into this thread, I submit a phrase that has been used (within ticket notes) eight separate times, to date, by the same individual (approaching 12 months of employment)...

various notes wrote:
(person x) stated that This circuit is going through multiply locations...
Tried multiply times to contact the customer...
I tried multiply times to contact the customer and no call back

email to customer wrote:
Good Morning,

I wanted to follow up with you to see if you were still experiencing fax issues on your fax line. I tried multiply times contacting you, but no response.
Please feel free to contact us if you have questions.

Have a great day!

internal email wrote:
I tried multiply times contacting the customer to see if they were discontinue their services with us. I tried calling and emailing, but yet no response as of yet.


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 20 Aug 2016, 19:28 
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TV's Kryptonite
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(another email to a customer)

Good Morning,
Are you receiving trouble with receiving faxes or sending out-going faxes.


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 21 Aug 2016, 14:06 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Different coworker had recently complained of being bitten by bugs while at her desk. the following day, she comes into my section of the office, offering a ergonomic back pillow to anyone in the room. when everyone declined the offer, she states her belief that the pillow may house whatever bugs were biting her.


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 25 Aug 2016, 14:49 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Quote:
ALL HER PHONES ARE NOT WORKING WHEN SHE DIALS IT DOESN'T DOING NOTHING AND SOMETIMES SHE RECEIVES A FAST BUSY TONE


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 26 Aug 2016, 01:20 
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Scruluce wrote:
Different coworker had recently complained of being bitten by bugs while at her desk. the following day, she comes into my section of the office, offering a ergonomic back pillow to anyone in the room. when everyone declined the offer, she states her belief that the pillow may house whatever bugs were biting her.

This one is my favorite so far

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 29 Aug 2016, 12:33 
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Scruluce wrote:
For the initial entry into this thread, I submit a phrase that has been used (within ticket notes) eight separate times, to date, by the same individual (approaching 12 months of employment)...

various notes wrote:
(person x) stated that This circuit is going through multiply locations...
Tried multiply times to contact the customer...
I tried multiply times to contact the customer and no call back

email to customer wrote:
Good Morning,

I wanted to follow up with you to see if you were still experiencing fax issues on your fax line. I tried multiply times contacting you, but no response.
Please feel free to contact us if you have questions.

Have a great day!

internal email wrote:
I tried multiply times contacting the customer to see if they were discontinue their services with us. I tried calling and emailing, but yet no response as of yet.

Unfortunately, most (multiply people :mishchief: ) lack the capability to proof read anything

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 31 Aug 2016, 19:36 
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TV's Kryptonite
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on the phone with one of the dummies today. she asked me to speak with a customer's IT support tech, then gives me the reference ticket number.
I see a recent note (maybe 4 notes down) dated 8/30 that states there will be a conference call and testing at 5pm tomorrow.

I brought the note to her attention. She reads it, then says, "but that's not until tomorrow. can you talk to him right now?"


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 01 Sep 2016, 07:50 
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TV's Kryptonite
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back at work today, and discovered (not really) that this condition isn't isolated to my office.
here is a snippet from an email we received (from a law firm) this morning:
Quote:
Mainly important for them to be able to press an extension to speak to staff or make an appointment.


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 08 Sep 2016, 11:20 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Quote:
Customer called in stated that they are having a routing issues and they want a tech to look into it. He said that he had a tech look into it and they are stating that its our internet where its not working.

So they need a tech, but a tech already looked into it?


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 09 Sep 2016, 11:27 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Location: Mudville, Tuleberg, Brick City, Fat City, Gas City, Port City
Quote:
Lisa called and advised that her calls are answered by advantage Mon-Fri 830am -6pm calles are going to advantage but going directly to a vmail so they are not able to answer it.

the answering service isn't part of our company. Incidentally, this is the same company we use for our after hours service.
I called the answering service and asked them how they typically handle an inbound call for this customer. Guess what the rep told me. They send the call to voicemail.

Not my circus; not my monkey.


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 09 Sep 2016, 13:52 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Location: Mudville, Tuleberg, Brick City, Fat City, Gas City, Port City
Quote:
i spoke with (customer) shes dials interoffice extensions and receives call drop and when she dials patients she also receives a call drop and when they receive incoming calls experience call drops

they can't English.


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 12 Sep 2016, 08:34 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Quote:
I called Sarah and asked her what she needed for the phones she advised there are at least 15 new agents that want their cell phones to ring along with their desk phones.

Ticket was created on Sep 7. The above note is the only interaction with the customer. I guess the customer didn't volunteer the names, extensions, and cell phone numbers of the 15 employees, and my idiot coworker didn't feel obligated to ask. My idiot coworker can, however, email my team (multiply times) this morning asking for a status update on this ticket.

Attachment:
DFP.jpeg


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 16 Sep 2016, 15:26 
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TV's Kryptonite
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two separate coworkers are trying to keep me apprised of current slang. It should be noted that one of them has about 5 years on me, but dresses sort of rock-a-billy.
Quote:
(4:17:31 PM) id10t: its on fleek
(3:56:46 PM) ME: fleek?
(3:57:11 PM) id10t: It was defined as “smooth, nice, sweet.” But, it was never to be seen or heard of again until Kayla Newman, aka Peaches Monroee came and set the phrase free. Fast forward a little more than 10 years later in June of 2014 when Newman, or Peaches Monroee, posted a vine saying, “eyebrows onfleek.”Sep 9, 20


Quote:
(4:00:59 PM) id10t: that songs slaps
(4:14:51 PM) id10t: 2   slapscrackin songs from the bay area"you got any mac dre slaps?"#hits #jam #songs #tight shit #records

(all of the hashtags were also linked, but you get the idea...)


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 19 Sep 2016, 10:22 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Quote:
CUSTOMER CALLED IN STATED THAT SHE CANT GET SEE ANY OFF THERE LIGHTS ON HER HER TELEPHONE LINES WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE.

:confused:


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 19 Sep 2016, 13:05 
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Scruluce wrote:
Quote:
CUSTOMER CALLED IN STATED THAT SHE CANT GET SEE ANY OFF THERE LIGHTS ON HER HER TELEPHONE LINES WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE.

:confused:

Where are they get see any yelling off at you?

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 20 Sep 2016, 00:51 
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Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-FilmWise!
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sldawgs wrote:
Scruluce wrote:
Quote:
CUSTOMER CALLED IN STATED THAT SHE CANT GET SEE ANY OFF THERE LIGHTS ON HER HER TELEPHONE LINES WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE.

:confused:

Where are they get see any yelling off at you?

I like turtles.

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 20 Sep 2016, 06:01 
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Batman wrote:
sldawgs wrote:
Scruluce wrote:
Quote:
CUSTOMER CALLED IN STATED THAT SHE CANT GET SEE ANY OFF THERE LIGHTS ON HER HER TELEPHONE LINES WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE.

:confused:

Where are they get see any yelling off at you?

I like turtles.

I like lamp.

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 20 Sep 2016, 23:48 
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Middle wrote:
Batman wrote:
sldawgs wrote:
Scruluce wrote:
Quote:
CUSTOMER CALLED IN STATED THAT SHE CANT GET SEE ANY OFF THERE LIGHTS ON HER HER TELEPHONE LINES WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE.

:confused:

Where are they get see any yelling off at you?

I like turtles.

I like lamp.

Middle, are you just looking at things in this thread and saying that you love them?

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 21 Sep 2016, 01:23 
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Captain of the Starship FilmWise
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Bill wrote:
Middle wrote:
Batman wrote:
sldawgs wrote:
Scruluce wrote:
Quote:
CUSTOMER CALLED IN STATED THAT SHE CANT GET SEE ANY OFF THERE LIGHTS ON HER HER TELEPHONE LINES WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE.

:confused:

Where are they get see any yelling off at you?

I like turtles.

I like lamp.

Middle, are you just looking at things in this thread and saying that you love them?

This conversation escalated quickly

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 21 Sep 2016, 08:43 
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TV's Kryptonite
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Quote:
CUSTOMER WOULD LIKE (phone number) TO REMOVE THE EMAIL ADDRESS WERE THE VM ARE FORWARDING TOO -


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 22 Sep 2016, 15:46 
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asked over intra-office instant messaging app:
Quote:
do you need need passport for hawaii no right


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 22 Sep 2016, 15:53 
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Scruluce wrote:
asked over intra-office instant messaging app:
Quote:
do you need need passport for hawaii no right

Only if you're flying in from either the Eastern or Central time zones. You're all good if you're in the Pacific or Mountain zones. Of course, if your last name ends in a letter corresponding to a prime number you always need a passport.


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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 22 Sep 2016, 17:03 
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Scruluce wrote:
asked over intra-office instant messaging app:
Quote:
do you need need passport for hawaii no right

only when they're on DST

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 Post subject: Re: My Idiot Coworker(s)
PostPosted: 22 Sep 2016, 17:03 
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Scruluce wrote:
asked over intra-office instant messaging app:
Quote:
do you need need passport for hawaii no right

only before August 12, 1898

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