A²'s wacky news corner

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A²'s wacky news corner

#1 Post by » 19 Dec 2003, 06:11

ok, my plan is to post new news story here ever day or at least several times a week. It will just be one more of the numerous things I do to enrich your lives.
Last edited by on 16 Jul 2007, 22:52, edited 1 time in total.
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#2 Post by » 19 Dec 2003, 06:12

Bakersfield prostitute strips attacker and takes him to police

(12-18 ) 09:59 PST BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) --

A skinny rapist met his match in an angry, 275-pound prostitute, police said.

Adrian Castillo Ramirez, 140 pounds, allegedly tried to sexually assault a 24-year-old Bakersfield prostitute who was nearly twice his weight.

But she took his knife, stripped him naked and paraded him in front of other prostitutes, after asking how many of them had ever been forced into sex at knifepoint. Then she tried to take him -- still naked -- to the police station, reports said.

Castillo was charged with failing to register as a sex offender, and with committing forcible sex acts on the 24-year-old and on a 37-year-old woman in a previous incident. He also was convicted of four counts of rape in 1988.

Castillo pleaded innocent Wednesday, and is being held in lieu of $250,000 bail, police said.
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#3 Post by Fever Dog » 19 Dec 2003, 09:27

A2 wrote:Bakersfield prostitute strips attacker and takes him to police

(12-18 ) 09:59 PST BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) --

A skinny rapist met his match in an angry, 275-pound prostitute, police said.

Adrian Castillo Ramirez, 140 pounds, allegedly tried to sexually assault a 24-year-old Bakersfield prostitute who was nearly twice his weight.

But she took his knife, stripped him naked and paraded him in front of other prostitutes, after asking how many of them had ever been forced into sex at knifepoint. Then she tried to take him -- still naked -- to the police station, reports said.

Castillo was charged with failing to register as a sex offender, and with committing forcible sex acts on the 24-year-old and on a 37-year-old woman in a previous incident. He also was convicted of four counts of rape in 1988.

Castillo pleaded innocent Wednesday, and is being held in lieu of $250,000 bail, police said.
It's not your usual "hooker with the heart of gold" story now is it? :D
I would rather be having a burger and beers with my mates but I can't do that when I know I've got to dance!

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#4 Post by » 20 Dec 2003, 15:23

Mayor cancels alien landing over abduction fears

The mayor of a Brazilian town says he has cancelled a planned landing by an alien spaceship during this week's Brazil v Peru football match.

Elcio Berti told Estado de Sao Paulo online: "I cancelled the landing because I was worried they might abduct one of the Brazilian footballers."

Mr Berti, the Mayor of Bocaiuva do Sul, claims to be in regular touch with aliens and says they are helping to fund a UFO landing pad he's building in the town.

The mayor first hit the headlines when he issued a decree banning all birth control methods in Bocaiuva do Sul to try and boost the number of pregnancies to increase federal funding.



http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_84 ... eccentrics
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#5 Post by » 22 Dec 2003, 06:35

Cameroon celebrates end of sex ban

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3325281.stm

Couples in Cameroon are in a frisky mood following the end of a two-month strike during which women refused to have sex with their husbands.
The 6,000 women in the north-west of the country were protesting against the destruction of crops by cattle.

Acting through the local women secret society, they also took seven traditional rulers hostage.

The strike was called off after a commission was set up to investigate their grievances and propose solutions.

The BBC's Randy Azeng in Cameroon, says a traditional cleansing ceremony of the village of Aghem, in Wum region, and the village's rulers has been conducted.

"The cleansing ceremony is very important because the gods of our land are angry with the evil that has gripped the village," said Elizabeth Ewi, a spokeswoman from the Ndouh Fumbwi secret society that called the strike.


During the cleansing ceremony, the paramount chief of Aghem, Bah-ambi III, slaughtered specially-bred fowl and invoked the ancestors of Aghem to pour blessings to the village.

The women had spent days and nights in the open with their traditional rulers as their prisoners, an act considered to be an abomination in the community.

Men in the village who include the paramount chief have fully resumed their matrimonial obligations after being deprived of sex.

Our correspondent says some men told him they stayed faithful to their wives in fear of contracting HIV.
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#6 Post by Sugarpuss O'Shea » 22 Dec 2003, 08:34

Yeah, I'm not in a dry spell, I've just been showing my solidarity for the women of Cameroon. :roll:
You see, Hopsi, you don't know very much about girls. The best ones aren't as good as you probably think they are and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad.

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#7 Post by JJ » 22 Dec 2003, 08:37

A2 wrote:The strike was called off after a commission was set up to investigate their grievances and propose solutions.
I'm pretty sure I can think of one solution that was proposed.
La la la la la.

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#8 Post by alan smithee » 22 Dec 2003, 12:16

Lysistrata was not mentioned once in that article. I suspect BBC News will be hearing from Aristophanes's agent any time now.
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever.

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#9 Post by Sugarpuss O'Shea » 22 Dec 2003, 12:59

alan smithee wrote:Lysistrata was not mentioned once in that article. I suspect BBC News will be hearing from Aristophanes's agent any time now.
Wow! Movie quotes, music trivia, obscure TV shows, ancient Greek comedies.......is there anything you can't pull out of your ass?
You see, Hopsi, you don't know very much about girls. The best ones aren't as good as you probably think they are and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad.

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#10 Post by Odd Todd » 22 Dec 2003, 13:03

Sugarpuss O'Shea wrote:
alan smithee wrote:Lysistrata was not mentioned once in that article. I suspect BBC News will be hearing from Aristophanes's agent any time now.
Wow! Movie quotes, music trivia, obscure TV shows, ancient Greek comedies.......is there anything you can't pull out of your ass?
Oddly enough... his head. 8) :wink:
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#11 Post by alan smithee » 22 Dec 2003, 13:39

Odd Todd wrote:
Sugarpuss O'Shea wrote:
alan smithee wrote:Lysistrata was not mentioned once in that article. I suspect BBC News will be hearing from Aristophanes's agent any time now.
Wow! Movie quotes, music trivia, obscure TV shows, ancient Greek comedies.......is there anything you can't pull out of your ass?
Oddly enough... his head. 8) :wink:
:lol:

(You'd get a few more :lol:s, but you stole my joke. :balrog: :) )
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever.

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#12 Post by » 23 Dec 2003, 11:39

Man chops off testicle after row with wife


http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsPackageArt ... ction=news

NAIROBI (Reuters) - A Kenyan man chopped off one of his testicles in a row with his wife and then walked naked to a police station to report the incident.

Police rushed 26-year-old Stephen Ongala to hospital after he stumbled into their police station in the border town of Busia in western Kenya on Friday bleeding heavily.

"He said he did it because he had had a disagreement with his wife," said deputy police chief Shadrack Maithya on Monday. "If we get evidence that he tried to take his life, then we may charge him because it is a criminal offence."
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#13 Post by kinggrl » 23 Dec 2003, 11:50

Wow. Just... wow. :o That's one argument tactic I've never seen before. Don't let fivestyle read this.

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#14 Post by JJ » 23 Dec 2003, 11:51

Maybe this Ongala was so upset about the lousy wrestling tonight that he went down to the garage, and in a fit of depression, cut off his own head.
La la la la la.

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#15 Post by » 23 Dec 2003, 14:17

kinggrl wrote:Wow. Just... wow. :o That's one argument tactic I've never seen before. Don't let fivestyle read this.
I had just read his threads about his wife when I came across this article. I coulnd't help but think of him.
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#16 Post by plaxii » 29 Dec 2003, 07:11

I am in a world of shit

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#17 Post by kinggrl » 29 Dec 2003, 07:23

“I don’t feel bad at all about keeping the scholarship. I have studied hard my whole life (earning a 3.8 GPA at Yorktown). I am captain of the academic team, student council secretary, member of the chess club, and play the flute in the marching band and all I was looking at was getting a lousy couple thousand dollars of my school paid for with academic scholarships. The other Jason gets a 2.5 GPA and the NCAA minimum score on his SAT and he gets a full ride because he can run fast and put a stupid orange ball in a hoop. It looks like Coach Keady is going to be stuck with me for four years.”
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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#18 Post by fivestyle » 29 Dec 2003, 07:29

A2 wrote:
kinggrl wrote:Wow. Just... wow. :o That's one argument tactic I've never seen before. Don't let fivestyle read this.
I had just read his threads about his wife when I came across this article. I coulnd't help but think of him.
:o :o :o Ok, I could deal without a finger, or toe, or maby even go all artistic and take off an ear but one of the little guys...thats just wrong....there still useful and Im a little too attached to them to even think about cutting one off.
Last edited by fivestyle on 30 Dec 2003, 11:40, edited 1 time in total.

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#19 Post by Sugarpuss O'Shea » 29 Dec 2003, 10:27

plaxii wrote:http://www.hoosiergazette.com/Sports/sports003.htm




somethign i found amusing :)
:lol: :lol: :lol: Hi-larious!! Thanks so much for sharing it, plax!
You see, Hopsi, you don't know very much about girls. The best ones aren't as good as you probably think they are and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad.

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#20 Post by plaxii » 29 Dec 2003, 10:42

no problem glad i could share
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#21 Post by Sugarpuss O'Shea » 29 Dec 2003, 11:42

I feel like a big dork. I read that story, forwarded it to a friend and my dad, and my dad was the one to point out that the story was a satire. I didn't notice "Indiana's first source for inaccurate news and commentary since 2003" at the top of the page! Luckily, I'm not the only one that was duped. According to the message board at www.hoosiergazette.com, The San Diego Union-Tribune ran the story as fact! Here's their retraction:

December 18, 2003

The lead item in Thursday's Gallery detailing Purdue's mistake in signing the wrong Jason Smith to a basketball scholarship was in fact a satirical story from www.hoosiergazette.com, a Web site that pokes fun at Indiana. There was no basis in fact for any part of the story.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/sports/20 ... allry.html

Too funny!
You see, Hopsi, you don't know very much about girls. The best ones aren't as good as you probably think they are and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad.

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#22 Post by plaxii » 29 Dec 2003, 11:52

wow i did not notice that either

guess i should read the source of the story closer

oh well the article was still funny
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#23 Post by Greg the Guileful » 30 Dec 2003, 11:35

here's my vote for 'most insignificant headline of 2003' :


Hootie & the Blowfish Endorse Edwards

http://apnews1.iwon.com/article/20031227/D7VMPAQ80.html

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#24 Post by kinggrl » 30 Dec 2003, 11:43

Greg the Guileful wrote:here's my vote for 'most insignificant headline of 2003' :


Hootie & the Blowfish Endorse Edwards

http://apnews1.iwon.com/article/20031227/D7VMPAQ80.html
You know why it's insignificant? Because it's fricken South Carolina!!! :balrog:

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#25 Post by » 30 Dec 2003, 12:25

RALEIGH, N.C. -- A five-legged dog discovered near a state park has undergone successful surgery to remove two :o of her legs. (11/26/03 AP photo)

Image

TAMPA, Fla. -- A 6-year-old, partially paralyzed boy had four fingers chewed off by his family's dog because he couldn't feel what the animal was doing. (10/15/03 AP photo)

Image

Maybe he couldn't feel it, but couldn't he at least have seen it?
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