| In Review We've taken several reviews from the quintessential movie review and reference book, "VideoHound's Golden Movie Retriever" and pared them down to the juiciest bits. Using the excerpts we've provided, try to figure out what movies have received these raves or pans (mostly pans, because pans are more fun). |
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| 1. |
"...Along with the hurricane, the kids must cope with fish stick guy/killer Ben Willis, who's still pretty cranky. The scares come at such a regular interval, and sometimes with such a lame premise, that the viewer becomes numb to them. The cast, especially the wet t-shirt adorned Hewitt, help to keep it afloat, however." |
| 2. |
"...When Gregory leaves her on a promotional book tour, frumpy Babs decides a big makeover is in order. Her newfound outer beauty, however, becomes the beast on the inside. Premise is marred by Streisand's unwillingness to look bad, and there's a too-subtle transformation between the 'ugly' Rose and the updated version..." |
| 3. |
"...Eszterhas script descends below its maker's usual standards, which are not particularly high. Titanic amount of female flesh on display fails to give film even a faint hint of sexuality, proof that there is a hell. Rent it, and be prepared to fast forward (to what, we're not sure, though there is a certain camp element that might have been amusing if not imprisoned here.)" |
| 4. |
"Two or three aliens in silk pajamas conspire to resurrect several slow-moving zombies from a cardboard graveyard in order to conquer the Earth. Spaceships that look suspiciously like paper plates blaze across the sky. Pitiful, inadvertantly hilarious fright worth a look if you're desperate to kill time since it's in the running for the 'dumbest movie ever made' award. Lugosi's actual screen time is under two minutes, since he had the good sense to die before the film was complete..." |
| 5. |
"...The controversy engulfing the film, as it was heavily protested and widely banned, tended to divert attention from what is an exceptional statement of religious and artistic vision. Excellent score by Peter Gabriel." |
| 6. |
"...fights to clear his name and save the people of Mega City One. Big names, big bangs, big budget - big disappointment. Dialogue makes 'Rambo' sound like Shakespeare, and the choppy, convoluted plot doesn't help...The source comic book has been a cult favorite in England for 20 years." |
| 7. |
"Some studio executive decided to take a bad prop comic named after a vegetable and give him a major motion picture. If this movie accomplishes one thing, it may be the abolition of Friday afternoon twelve-martini lunches in Hollywood...Rent it only if every single video, including the instructional mime section, is already out." |
| 8. |
"Noted by one reviewer as 'Enchanted April with nipples,' comedy of manners is witty but lacks plot and looks remarkably like a centerfold layout. Ample displays of nudity as the models (including supermodel MacPherson in her acting debut) frolic in the buff..." |
| 9. |
"A cynical, energetic satire about a manic advertising idea man who becomes so disgusted with trying to sell a pimple cream that he quits the business. Ultimately he grows a pimple of his own that talks and begins to take over his life. Acerbic and hilarious." |
| 10. |
"...Live-action version of the cartoon character popular in the 50's and 60's...Meanwhile, (name deleted) is mistaking a mummy's sarcophagus for a phone booth, a riverboat paddle wheel for an escalator and...well, you get the idea...Although criticized by some blind groups as an inaccurate portrayal of the visually challenged, after a very brief run in the theaters, no one was able to see it..." |
| 11. |
"...forces Rudy to help him and his skanky gang rob an Indian casino on Christmas Eve. Pic is surprisingly flat, deadening the impact of the surprise endings that come in rapid succession, which unintentionally transform the film into a parody of itself." |
| 12. |
"One of the few instances where a remake is an improvement on the original, which was itself a classic. This time, the 'pod people' are infesting San Francisco, with only a small group of people aware of (it)..." |
| 13. |
"Steals the most irritating parts of 'Look, Who's Talking,' 'Home Alone' and that creepy dancing baby and pastes them onto a lame good kids vs. evil adults plot...Standing in their way are nursery school operators...and an array of babies that spout inane dialogue thanks to an abuse of computer morphing...More interesting things can be found inside a diaper." |
| 14. |
"Romantic drama that's paced slower than the method of mail delivery in the title... She tries to get him to open up and move on with his life (with her preferably), but this takes a mind-numbingly long time. The two are destined to be together, but half of those watching are destined to be asleep by the time it happens..." |
| 15. |
"...an accident-prone heiress disappears in Mexico, and her father tries to locate her using an equally clumsy accountant. The nebbish and an attendant tough private eye stumble and bumble south of the border until the plot arbitrarily ends. Pure awful." |
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