Latest Quizzes:
When They Were Young
The Android-genous Zone
Dreaming of a White New Year
Science Class: Ornithology 101
Science Class: Fauna 101
Science Class: Flora 101
Pistol-Whipped
Home Sweet Home
Against the Clock
Splish Splash #2
Just Desserts
Doors, Doors and More Doors
All the World's a Stage
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
The Beauty of the Beast
Say What? #2
Doing the Splits
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Taking Orders Answers
1. Customer: "Do you know where 1640 Riverside..."
  Employee: "Are you gonna order something, kid?"
  Customer: "Uh, yeah. Gimme, gimme a Tab."
  Employee: "Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something."
  Customer: "Alright, gimme a Pepsi Free."
  Employee: "You want a Pepsi, pal, you're gonna pay for it."
  Customer: "Well, just give me something without sugar in it, okay?"
  Employee: "Something without sugar..."
  "Back to the Future"
2. Employee: "May I help you?"
  Customer: "Uh, yes. This is not the best breakfast I ever ate, and I'd like my money back."
  Employee: "Uh, okay, uh, I believe you have to fill out a form for that."
  Customer: "Uh, no, I'd like my money back now."
  Employee: "I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. You see, I have to fill out a form, and, well, you ate most of it already, so..."
  Customer: "See that sign? It says, '100% guaranteed.' You know what the meaning of 'guaranteed' is? Do they teach you that here?"
  Employee: "Sir, if you'd just wait a minute."
  Customer: "I am so tired of dealing with incompetence. It says, '100% guaranteed,' you moron."
  Employee: "Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kick 100% of your ass!"
  "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"
3. Customer #1: "Do you have any hot soup?"
  Waitress: "No."
  Customer #2: "Well, uh, do you have any coffee, then?"
  Waitress: "No."
  Customer #1: "Do you have any hot chocolate?"
  Waitress: "We've spirits and beers. If it's something hot you want, you can have tea."
  Customer #1: "Then you have tea?"
  Waitress: "No."
  Customer #1: "Oh."
  Waitress: "But I can make some for you. If you'd like."
  "An American Werewolf in London"
4. Employees: "Welcome to Winky Dinky Dog, Mr. Batty. May we take your order, please?"
  Customer: "One Winky Dinky Dog with cheese, and one without. Extra special sauce."
  Employee #1: "Got that, Tiny?"
  Employee #2: "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
  Employee #1: "One with cheese, and spit on the other one."
  "Hollywood Shuffle"
5. Employee: "Hi. Welcome to McDonald's. What can I get for you?"
  Customer #1: "Okay, what do you want?"
  Customer #2: "Cheerios."
  Customer #1: "They don't got Cheerios. What else?"
  Customer #2: "Lasagna."
  Customer #1: "Lasagna? What the hell's the matter with you?! We'll take hotcakes and sausage."
  Employee: "Sorry, sir, we stopped serving breakfast."
  Customer #1: "What are you talking about? We're four seconds late!"
  Employee: "No. You're thirty minutes and four seconds late. We stop serving breakfast at 10:30."
  Customer #1: "Ahhhh, horseshit!! No no no, don't cry. I'm sorry, I wasn't cursing at you, I was cursing at the lady."
  Customer #3: "Nice parenting."
  Customer #1: "Hey, thanks! Are you my therapist?! Take a walk! You want a Happy Meal? We'll get you one of those Happy Meals. Do you got a Happy Meal? Can we get a Happy Meal?! Will somebody get the kid a Happy Meal!!"
  "Big Daddy"
6. Manager: "We stopped serving breakfast at 11:30."
  Customer: "Rick, have you ever heard the expression, 'The customer is always right'?"
  Manager: "Yeah."
  Customer: "Yeah, well, here I am. The customer."
  Manager: "That's not our policy. You have to order something from the lunch menu."
  Customer: "I don't want lunch. I want breakfast."
  Manager: "Yeah, well, hey, I'm really sorry."
  Customer: "Yeah, well, hey, I'm really sorry too."
  Someone: "He's got a gun!!!"
  "Falling Down"
7. Hungry orphan: "Please, sir, I want some more."
  "Oliver!"
8. Bartender: "What do you want?"
  Customer: "Beer?"
  Bartender: "All I got is piss-warm Chango."
  Customer: "That's my brand... Mm, this is damn good. I'd say this is the best beer I've ever had. Actually --"
  Bartender: "Need anything over there?"
  Customer: "-- I'm just glad to be alive right now. I was up a few towns away. You know Saragosa? I was visiting a bar there, not unlike this one. They serve beer. Not quite as good as this, but close. And I saw something you wouldn't believe."
  "Desperado"
9. Employee: "Can I help you, sir? Can I help you, sir?"
  Customer: "I was kinda wantin' somethin' to eat."
  Employee: "Well, uh, what would you like?"
  Customer: "You got any biscuits for sale in there?"
  Employee: "Well, no, this is a Frosty Cream. We don't serve biscuits. We got a lot of other stuff, though."
  "Sling Blade"
10. Customer: "I'll have chicken wings."
  Waitress: "Kitchen's closed until dinner. Just got cold stuff and desserts."
  Customer: "Boy, some chicken wings would really hit the spot. You sure it's closed?"
  Waitress: "Let me check. Yup, it's closed."
  Customer: "Okay, I'll just have a sugar packet or two. Hey, what's your name?"
  Waitress: "Helen."
  Customer: "That's nice. You look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into some guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well, then I get all excited. I'm like JoJo the Idiot Circus Boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. Oh, my pretty little pet. I love you. So I stroke it and I pet it and I massage it. I love it. I love my little naughty pet. You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go... Oooohhhhh! I killed it! I killed my sale! That's when I blow it. That's when people like us have got to forge ahead, Helen. Am I right?"
  Waitress: "God, you're sick. Tell you what, I'll go turn the fryers back on and throw some wings in for you."
  Customer: "Heyyyy, thanks, Helen."
  "Tommy Boy"
11. Golfer #1: "I want a hamburger. No, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips."
  Golfer #2: "You'll get nothing and like it!"
  "Caddyshack"
12. Waitress: "Ready to order?"
  Customer: "Yeah, I'll have a coffee, two, ah, two coffees. And it says, uh, here, 'Breakfast any time.'"
  Waitress: "That's right."
  Customer: "I'll have the, uh, panckaes in the, uh, Age of Enlightenment."
  "Swingers"
13. Waitress: "Will that be all? Would you like your check?"
  Customer #1: "Rita, you want something?"
  Customer #2: "No, just, just the coffee."
  Customer #1: "We'll take our check."
  Waitress: "Okay."
  Customer #1: "What is it, Rita?"
  Customer #2: "Shhh. I remember something. I remember something."
  "Mulholland Drive"
14. Waiter: "Hi, I'm Buddy. What can I getcha?"
  Customer #1: "Let's see, steak, steak, steak. Oh yeah, the Douglas Sirk steak, I'll have that."
  Waiter: "How do you want that cooked? Burnt to a crisp or bloody as hell?"
  Customer #1: "Bloody as hell, and, oh yeah, look at this. Vanilla Coke."
  Waiter: "What about you, Peggy Sue?"
  Customer #2: "I'll have the Durwood Kirby burger, bloody, and the five-dollar shake."
  Waiter: "How do you want that shake? Martin and Lewis or Amos and Andy?"
  Customer #2: "Martin and Lewis"
  Customer #1: "Did you just order a five-dollar shake?"
  "Pulp Fiction"
15. Customer: "Hi."
  Waitress: "Hey! Some key lime pie for you today?"
  Customer: "Okay, yeah, that sounds great."
  Waitress: "I'll cut you an extra-large slice. Preferred customer."
  Customer: "Thank you. That's really sweet of you."
  Waitress: "Well, I'm just a sweetie, ain't I? Still reading about orchids, I hope."
  Customer: "Yes, I am."
  Waitress: "This friend of mine has this little, tiny pink one that grows on a tree branch just like that. I can't remember --"
  Customer: "That's what's called an epiphyte."
  Waitress: "Right. Right! Boy, you know your stuff."
  Customer: "No, not really. I, I, uh, I'm just learning. Epiphytes grow on trees, but they're not parasites. They get all their nourishment from the air and the rain."
  Waitress: "Well, I'm impressed. That's great."
  Customer: "There are more than 30,000 kinds of orchids in the world."
  Waitress: "Wow, that's a lot, huh?"
  Customer: "Yeah, yeah."
  Waitress: "So I'll be right back with an extra-large slice of key lime pie for my orchid expert."
  Customer: "But.. So, anyway, I was also wondering... I'm going up to Santa Barbara this Saturday for an orchid show, and I... and I..."
  Waitress: "Oh..."
  Customer: "I'm sorry..."
  Waitress: "Well, um..."
  Customer: "I apologize. I'm sorry."
  Waitress: "So I'll just be right back with your pie then."
  "Adaptation"
16. Bartender: "What'll it be?"
  Customer: "I'm awfully glad you asked me that, Lloyd, because I just happen to have two twenties and two tens right here in my wallet. I was afraid they were gonna be there til next April. So here's what: You slip me a bottle of bourbon, a little glass, and some ice. You can do that, can't you, Lloyd? You're not too busy, are you?"
  Bartender: "No sir, I'm not busy at all."
  Customer: "Good man. You set 'em up, and I'll knock 'em back, Lloyd, one by one."
  "The Shining"
17. Customer: "Excuse me, Flo... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! ... Flo, like the TV show... Um, what is the soup du jour?"
  Waitress: "It's the soup of the day."
  Customer: "Mmm, that sounds good. I'll have that."
  "Dumb and Dumber"
18. Customer: "Usual."
  Waiter: "So, the usual lunch or the usual dinner?"
  Customer: "Well, what difference does it make?"
  Waiter: "Not much."
  Customer: "Hey, Jaffe, uh, is that tan Ford still parked across in front of the bank?"
  Waiter: "Tan Ford? Uh huh, yeah. Tan Ford."
  "Dirty Harry"
19. Waitress: "Good evening."
  Customer #1: "Oh, no no no no no no no. Do you have bottled water?"
  Waitress: "Sure, anyone else?"
  Customer #2: "Uh, may we have a wine list?"
  Waitress: "Sure."
  Customer #3: "Do we know each other?"
  Waitress: "Uh, I think so. You been in here before?"
  Customer #3: "No. No, I think I'd remember an Irish Italian restaurant."
  Waitress: "Yeah, you would."
  Customer #1: "Oh my God. Blah bluh-blah bluh-blah blah blah... My water. I don't want Swiss water. I got sick on imported Swiss water once. Do you remember that night?"
  Customer #4: "Oh, that was so awful. That was so bad."
  Customer #1: "As long as it's not Swiss or tap water, it will be fine. Preferably French, no bubbles. I want it cold, no ice, no glass, just a bottle and a straw. Do you want to write it down? I don't want Swiss water. I got sick on it once."
  "Return to Me"
20. Customer: "Smells like hamburgers in here. Tell me, what is the, uh, the biggest, fattest hamburger you guys got?"
  Employee: "That would be Steve's Double Chili Cheeseburger."
  Customer: "Alright. Well, gimme two of them bad boys."
  Employee: "Uh huh."
  Customer: "Two chili fries, and, uh, two large Diet Cokes."
  "True Romance"
21. Waitress: "Good morning. Coffee?"
  Customer #1: "Yes, that'd be good."
  Customer #2: "Sally Dibbs. Dibbs, Sally. 461-0... 0192."
  Waitress: "How did you know my phone number?"
  Customer #1: "How'd you know that?"
  Customer #2: "You said read the phonebook last night. Dibbs, Sally. 461-0192."
  Customer #1: "He, uh... remembers things... little things sometimes."
  Waitress: "Very clever, boys. I'll be right back."
  "Rain Man"
22. Customer: "Yeah, can I get a six-piece little Chicken McBeth and a regular McBeth McBeth?"
  "Scotland, PA"
23. Cop: "Anything else?"
  Robber: "Yeah."
  Cop: "What?"
  Robber: "I got some people in there that are hungry. Can you get some food for them?"
  Cop: "No problem, what do you want? Want some pizzas?"
  Robber: "Yeah, alright."
  Cop: "Okay, pizzas. Carmine! Get some food in here. Some pizzas, alright."
  Robber: "Can we get some beer, ya think?"
  Cop: "Uh, yeah. No. No! No beer. No, no, let's, no, keep it to soft drinks, alright. Come on, alright. Carmine! Some soft drinks too, okay. Cokes!"
  "Dog Day Afternoon"
24. Customer #1: "I'll have a double Smiley sandwich, curly fries and a vanilla shake."
  Customer #2: "Make that two!"
  Employee #1: "That'll be $7.98, please. Drive up to the window, thank you."
  Customer #1: "I think we deserve a little junk food after the workout we had this morning. Did you know about that?"
  Customer #2: "Thank you, I'm flattered."
  Employee #2: "Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's! Would you like to try our new beef and cheese pot pie on a stick? Just $1.99 for a limited time only."
  Customer #1: "We were just at a seminar. Uh, Buddy, this is my..."
  Employee #2: "Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  Employee #1: "You are so busted."
  Customer #1: "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  Employee #2: "Well, actually, Janine is senior drive-thru manager, so you kind of are on her turf."
  "American Beauty"
25. Waitress: "What can I get you?"
  Customer #1: "I'll have a number 3."
  Customer #2: "I'd like a chef salad and the apple pie a la mode."
  Waitress: "Chef and apple a la mode."
  Customer #2: "But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side. And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla, if you have it. If not, no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing."
  Waitress: "Not even the pie?"
  Customer #2: "No, just the pie, but then not heated."
  Waitress: "Uh huh."
  "When Harry Met Sally..."
26. Waitress: "Can I help you boys?"
  Customer #1: "You got any, uh, white bread?"
  Waitress: "Yes."
  Customer #1: "I'll have some toasted white bread, please."
  Waitress: "You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?"
  Customer #1: "No, ma'am. Dry."
  Customer #2: "Got any fried chicken?"
  Waitress: "The best damn chicken in the state!"
  Customer #2: "Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke."
  Waitress: "You want chicken wings or chicken legs?"
  Customer #2: "Four fried chickens and a Coke."
  Customer #1: "And some dry white toast."
  Waitress: "You all want anything to drink with that?"
  Customer #1: "No, ma'am."
  Customer #2: "A Coke."
  Waitress: "Be up in a minute."
  "The Blues Brothers"
27. Customer #1: "I'll have a decaf coffee."
  Customer #2: "I'll have a decaf espresso."
  Customer #3: "I'll have a double decaf cappuccino."
  Customer #4: "Do you have any decaffeinated ice cream?"
  Customer #5: "I'll have a double decaffeinated, half caf, with a twist of lemon."
  Customer #4: "I'll have a twist of lemon."
  Customer #3: "I'll have a twist of lemon."
  Customer #2: "I'll have a twist of lemon."
  Customer #1: "I'll have a twist of lemon."
  "L.A. Story"