Reviews:
Black Dynamite
The Book of Eli
Chloe
Clash of the Titans
The Crazies
Date Night
Duplicity
From Paris with Love
Get Him to the Greek
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Greenberg
Hot Tub Time Machine
I'm Still Here
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Iron Man 2
The Kids Are All Right
Larry Crowne
Letters to Juliet
Love and Other Drugs
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
The Road
Robin Hood
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Shutter Island
A Single Man
Solitary Man
Super 8
Vantage Point
The Wolfman
Wanted
Youth in Revolt

ROBIN HOOD
FIRST 10 MINUTES
I can just imagine how great the idea must've sounded. Let's get the band back together! We'll gather Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe and a bunch of merry men and we'll make Gladiator II, only we'll call it Robin Hood. It certainly can't be any worse than most of the stuff we've put out since the last Gladiator, so let's go back to what we know! Perfect, right?
Maybe, maybe not. Here's the first ten minutes of Robin Hood: Robbery scene. Battle scene. Done in Gladiator style. Except without the tigers.
I'm not Russell Crowe.
So why isn't it grabbing me? I mean, it starts out basically the same way Gladiator does, but I loved Gladiator, and I was sucked in from the opening scene. But Robin Hood isn't sucking me in. Maybe it's just because nothing has happened in this movie that didn't happen in Gladiator for the most part, so I'm waiting to see something new. But nothing new happens in the first ten minutes to warrant my attention. It really is just like watching Gladiator outtakes.
I'm gonna keep watching to see if it gets interesting. At least there was one good explosion/fire storm, so maybe there'll at least be some good stuff like that to look at. If it doesn't, I might just have to pop in the real Gladiator, it's been a while since I last watched it.
I'm not Russell Crowe.
By the way, I'm guessing Jess's review is not going to be a rave. She just asked me how long the movie had been on, thinking that I must've blown past the ten minute mark. When we checked, and it was only at the 7:05 mark, she said, "Wow, it seems like 20 minutes." Can't be good.
FOLLOW-UP
Eh, it was okay.
FIRST 10 MINUTES
Man, I feel like I have already watched three full-length films. All of which, I had no idea what the hell happened. It was like watching Doubt, Gladiator and Waking Life, but in ten minutes.
I'm not Russell Crowe.
This first ten minutes made me realize how happy I am that I don't live in the 12th century. It seems like they had epic battles every two minutes, maybe it's because no one could understand what each other was saying so they just fought. I certainly can't understand what anyone is saying; on top of its being a film based in not-now times, it's also Irish or Scotish or English (they're all the same), so I'm double-fucked.
Russell Crowe, it feels like you should have just retired after A Beautiful Mind. In the same way that I am tired of seeing Jack Black do his schtick, I am sick of Russell Crowe in these kinds of movies. I guess Gerard Butler was busy.
I'm Russell Crowe.
Unleash hell... See?
Well, if you are into these kinds of movies, I guess it might be an interesting watch. There are good fire explosions and slow-motion arrows and maybe you will see Cate Blanchet naked. It would probably be a really classy scene with hair covering various parts of her body by candlelight, but maybe something will pop out.
I'm not going to watch the rest of this, because it feels like watching a film for history class in 8th grade. And I don't need no school.
JESS SLEEP METER
(Bri: I can't say that I blame her for leaving, but I'll stick it out.)
FOLLOW-UP